Alice in Regularland |

Everything I'm about to say is nothing new regarding long distance relationships and online dating. But I'm going to say it nonetheless.

In a nutshell, it sucks.

Here is a general play by play of the online dating process:

There is the whole weeding out process. Which is slow, tedious, repetitive and can at times feel very, fake. Mostly becuase when you find someone who piques your interest you will send them a message. And since we are human there is bound to be more than one person who piques your interest. Which means you are bound to be sending the same message over and over again.

Then, if you should happen to make a connection with a person after sending a few icebreaker messages, you ineviteably decide to talk on the phone.

The first phone conversation can either be viewed as:

a)extremly awkward during which you cant wait until its over so you can get to the next one where you will ultimatly 100 times more comfortable

or

b) entertainingly awkward becuase you kind of know this person but have never connected on any other level than email.

I chose b.

After talking on the phone for the mutually appropriate amount of time you will either agree that a) this is not going to work

or

b) you want to meet.

In the case of choice b, you are now faced with an entirly new problem. When, where, how and how long (often a factor when traveling long distances).

And then, you meet.

Its really the strangest thing to meet a person whom you know what they look like, you know what they sound like, you have a pretty firm base of who this person is and what they are like and yet have never actually met them in person. There is a feeling of awkardness unlike any other situation you could be in. Do you talk about things that you already know about them? Do you act like its no big deal and try to pic up where you left off?...

Or do you inevitably end up acting as if your meeting someone you have known your entire life for the very first time?

And then there is the ultimate suck. What happens if, (and we are talking long distance now) things work out. Becuase, lets face it, the idea is just as bad as if things don't work out. Then you are now faced with being in a long distance relationship. Where your relationship grows through interaction on the phone. Lets say the person lives far away and you are lucky enough that one or the other of you can can only see eachother once a month. If you date for six months you will have only spent time together 6 times. 6!

So then the question you have to pose to yourself and your partner now is, are you worth it? Are you worth the headache, the money, the time, the lack of physical interaction? Are you willing to go out on a limb and try to date someone that you will hardly see in person based on the idea that there is "something" there?

I dont know.